alt_terry: (Terry assessing)
terry boot ([personal profile] alt_terry) wrote2013-03-09 11:34 pm

I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good

It's been an awful long time since I wrote in my journal, and I'm kind of ashamed of that. It's not that I don't think of you all often. But...not so much writing. I am in school myself, and we have lessons, too, of course, and we have chores that help make this place run.

Those feel like weak excuses, though. I'm sorry.

I'm doing really well. We've been a bit hungrier here, because we lost part of our harvest from a storm, and it's too early to start the garden. But we've had some supplies shifted to us through the Order network, so it isn't too bad.

I've spent tonight re-reading my journal and catching up with all of you. And one thing that struck me as mighty strange is that it feels as though I'm safer at my school, and happier, and freer than you all are at yours. Weird, when you think about it. I envy you that wonderful library, of course, and the teachers--well, only some of them. We do have good teachers, too, although they have come to us from vastly different paths than the formally educated teachers at Hogwarts.

But that new Headmistress sounds positively dreadful. From what I can tell, it seems like she's turning Hogwarts into a much grimmer and more threatening place.

My home here isn't a paradise, by any means. It's so much more primitive than a castle that's stood for over a thousand years. But I have something you don't ever get to see, and I'm sorry for that. We have muggles and half-bloods and muggleborn and pureblood all living together, and they don't care about blood status at all. They all pitch in to do whatever needs to be done. The ones who are magical have wands and use 'em however they're needed, and no one makes a fuss about who carries a wand versus the ones who don't. It's possible.

I wish you could see it, because they've made it work really well.

I understand that owl messages to and from the school aren't really safe anymore, but...you were all such a help to me when I felt cut off and needed support.

Is there anything I could do for you, from here?
alt_sally_anne: (I don't want to talk about it right now.)

[personal profile] alt_sally_anne 2013-03-10 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
It really is wretched here.

At supper and on weekends she has us sitting by 'order of precedence' and the food is different at different ends of the table, and there isn't quite enough of it at the 'low' end, and she doesn't let us get food from the elves away from the dining hall anymore and all our care parcels disappear. I had food stashed in my bracelet but I've eaten most of it now. I mean no one's STARVING but ... yeah.

Half-bloods don't get Defense classes anymore and she's banned our revision group. I'm not worried that I'll fail but I am rather worried about some of the others, like Fawcett.

The latest is that when she hexes people she forbids them to go to Madam Pomfrey. So the other night, Madam P gave me a load of potions, which I've mostly hidden in the secret room. So people who can't go to her can come to me, and I can give them most of what she'd have. Which -- really it shows just how desperate Madam P is, because she has NEVER been willing to let people carry potions before. She always wants to see people. But when people aren't being allowed to come to her -- at least I have some training, and she told me what to look for that would mean it really urgently needs to be seen by a Healer and said that I should get a message to her by way of Hermione, if need be, or Brutka, Milland, or Sprout.

I think she's really worried that things are going to get even worse.

Honestly I'm starting to wonder if I can stand to stay for NEWTs.
alt_sally_anne: (Meh.)

Re: Private message to Sally-Anne Perks

[personal profile] alt_sally_anne 2013-03-11 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, well, that's part of why I keep thinking, I don't have to stay for NEWTs.

I could pass my OWLs, then just not come back. I'd have met my requirements to be a 'true subject' and no one would much care if I dropped out of sight. (Pansy would, but I could see her on holidays and we could talk on the Lock, at least till we came of age.) I could apprentice with Madam Pomfrey and work for the Order.

It just seems

It is so awful here right now.

And I'm afraid so much of the time. That I'll make a misstep and she'll expel me. Or worse, I'll make a misstep and she'll call MLE. There's so much that could go wrong -- and that's true for everyone on the Lock but you know I think Umbridge particularly hates me. She'd be nervous, I think, calling MLE on Pansy. She'd be at least a little hesitant with Justin or Ron. But me? Or Neville or Evelyn? Neville, I think he wants to stay because of Evelyn, actually, he feels like he can protect her if he's close to her. But I can't protect anyone, if anything I bring extra risk to the people I care about.

Except for being the unofficial Healer, now.

I don't know.
alt_sally_anne: (I will find a way)

[personal profile] alt_sally_anne 2013-03-10 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh and NO OWLS.

They're intercepting all of them. Or so I've heard. And reading EVERYTHING.