I Solemnly Swear That I Am up to No Good

[alt_terry]

All right. I've something to say, and it may get some of you hacked off at me. I'm sorry, but I have to say it anyway.

Couldn't sleep last night. Woke up from a nightmare about the time the git took Dudley never mind. Since I couldn't sleep anyway, I stayed up until dawn, rereading journal entries, including Sirius Black's Grim Truths. And what Sally-Anne wrote about what she learned about the cardinal curses. And what you said about the training yesterday, and what Neville said about being on the outside looking in, and the CCF kids being the cool kids. And I'm remembering some the talks the git had late at night with his sister, when they thought I was asleep.

You're my friends, so I feel like I need to warn you as clearly as I can. You are on a really dangerous road. Along with the physical conditioning, and the orienteering, and all the other fun stuff, they're trying to corrupt you. They're trying to get you more comfortable with hurting people. And the further on you go, the more they're going to pressure you. Right now, they're talking 'muggle crowd control,' like you'd just use the stuff they're teaching you if muggles get out of line. I can see it clear as can be. In a couple years, it'll be just because they're muggles. Right now you're participating because it's fun and you're with your friends. Five years from now, it'll be because you need to keep your job. Ten years from now, it'll be because your whole family is counting on you. And you'd better believe that since the stakes are so much higher, the stuff you'll be expected to do is even worse.

I know that some people try to quietly resist. They may decide they have to do some terrible things because it allows them to do some things that can help. From some of what Fred and George have told me, I think their Dad's in that position. If you do that, participate in terrible things because you still hope you can do good, you'd better be bloody sure the trade off is worth it. You have to know that's what you're doing. Because I have to think that's the only justification.

Like I said, you all may get hacked off at me and ask me what right I have to say this. That's fair enough, so I'll tell you. I can tell you this because I'm much further down the road than you. The git wanted to corrupt me. And he did. I've done terrible things, so terrible that I'd never dare to tell you, so don't ask me. I have to find my way back somehow, but it's not easy.

Just...see what's going on. You have to decide what you're willing to do, and for what stakes. Because I have to think a lot of people start down this road without even realising that's what they're doing.

I'm not going to let you off that easy.

Your friend (and I really hope you believe it)
TERRY BOOT

Comments

[alt_sally_anne]

I don't

I wouldn't

...

[alt_terry]

I'm sorry. I hated saying it.

You want to be a healer, right? Madam Pomfrey told me that there's an oath the healers take, and part of it goes first, do no harm. So maybe if you are allowed to do the healers course of study and to take that oath, you wouldn't face that pressure, because people would know you're not allowed to hurt people, because of your oath.

Except--

I just realised...the regime doesn't consider muggles or muggleborns to be people, does it?

There were healers involved with some of the experiments the git was doing. He used to correspond with them.

I'm sorry. I guess that's not much comfort after all.

[alt_lee]

I'm not in CCF. But I've been thinking about this a bit, ever since we did career counseling. I'm going to try for a career in radio, as on-air talent, since people say I do a pretty good job with the quidditch matches. I wonder if I'd have to take a job where I'd have to, I dunno, read on the air announcements or press releases puffing up what the regime does. Can I stomach being all hurrah for the Lord Protector!' and everything?

[alt_terry]

You and your stomach.

[alt_lee]

Yeah, it gets all touchy and everything.

[alt_neville]

I need to think about this a bit.

[alt_luna]

Professor Carrow may have tried to corrupt you, Terry, but I don't think he succeeded. Not where it really matters, in your heart.

Because if he had, I really don't think you would be warning us like this.

[alt_terry]

Maybe, maybe not.

That doesn't change the fact that I did those terrible things, though.

[alt_justin]

Hear, hear! Well said, Terry.

This week has been.... Well, more difficult than I care to say, what? I say, I knew it would be dashed hard to keep one's composure at all times but the exercises are...well, they're bloody indecent.

I've got to say all the right things, particularly, what, but it's bally well challenging.

-Justin