Master

[alt_terry]

I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good

I haven't seen Master at all since the Headmistress reassigned me. Not until today. The Headmistress sent me to the library to get some books for her. She's been ever so kind to me. She looked over her glasses at me that way she has, and she said take all the time you need. So I guessed she meant she wouldn't mind if I snatched a little time to look at the books.

I was paging through one of the books in the charms section. I was so stupid--I wasn't paying attention to which way my back was turned. That's one thing I always had to mind when I lived with Master. Maybe living with the Headmistress I'd started to feel safe. He came up behind me real quiet, and before I knew what was happening, he had me slammed up against the bookcase with his wand at my throat.

He told me to look him in the eye, but I knew better than that. Even when Master says he wants you to look him in the eye, you mustn't ever do that if you're a mud muggleborn. He likes it best if you show you're too scared of him to meet his eyes. So I looked down at his wand. That was scary enough.

He told me some things. Never mind what. He just wanted me to tell him I belonged to him. So I did. I told him I belonged to him always. Would have said anything to him if I could just get away. Then he leaned over and hissed in my ear that if he couldn't have me he didn't see why anyone should. I told him the Headmistress was waiting for the book I was holding and I had to get right back. He let me go. It was all I could do not to run to get out of there.

Didn't tell the Headmistress about it, and won't, I guess. I just--I hope the Headmistress orders me to stay in her office for the next year.

Comments

[alt_neville]

You're sure you're all right, Terry? He didn't, I dunno, lay any other hexes on you?

That sounds awful. About as awful as him.

[alt_terry]

I'm all right. Honest. Don't mean to complain. It just--it just got to me.

[alt_neville]

I don't think of it as complaining if you're telling the truth about him making threats at you.

[alt_terry]

That's not it. It's sort of hard to explain.

I guess--I just don't usually talk about the sort of stuff Master does to me.

[alt_neville]

I'd noticed that. I'm not trying to pry or anything, yeah? But if he's threatening you, maybe you need to say something to the Headmistress?

[alt_terry]

I--I don't know.

I don't even know why it seemed so bad, much less why I said anything. I mean, he's done stuff to me that was lots worse, trust me.

[alt_neville]

You don't have to convince me. I believe you.

[alt_terry]

Maybe it's because I'd almost started to get used to feeling safe.

[alt_ron]

I agree. I think you ought to tell the Headmistress what happened. Especially the part where he said that if he couldn't have you no one should. She needs to know that.

About the rest of it, I dunno how you can stand it, having to always watch what you do like that. I-

I just dunno how you can do it.

[alt_terry]

Been thinking about that a lot.

It's all I've ever known, really, does that make sense? I've been with him as long as I can remember. It's only in the last week or so that I've really understood what it's like--what normal people can be like, I mean. It all feels so weird. Unfamiliar.

What's he been like in class?

[alt_neville]

It's been weird. Downright quiet, for him. Wouldn't you say, Ron? He's been absolutely ignoring Dean, hasn't called on him once.

[alt_ron]

Yeah. But I don't trust him quiet. That just means he's waiting for the right moment to do whatever he's been planning.

[alt_sally_anne]

He's been a little nicer to the Slytherins than he was before he 'went on leave,' that's how he puts it.

But when he looks at me and Pansy
I think he suspec

I really wish he'd just drop dead. Fall over dead. I mean that happens sometimes doesn't it? People just DIE. I wish he would. Except where would that leave you, Terry, would you stay with the Headmistress or would she have to send you back to the camp? I asked you last year what the camp was like and you said it was better here and that was while you were still with Carrow so the camp must truly be awful, really awful. I don't want you to go back there but I hate Carrow so much.

If you don't want to tell the Headmistress could we maybe pretend that one of us overheard him talking to you in the library? I mean I'm in the library all the time, I COULD have heard him and I could go to tell her that Carrow was threatening her property. She'd probably keep you in her office at least, away from him.

[alt_terry]

If he just keeled over dead--blimey, I don't even know what would happen to me. He's got the parchment that says I belong to him, but I don't know what that really means, exactly. I've never seen it. I guess that makes me his property. But does that mean, I dunno, that someone can, what's the word, inherit me? Guess that would be his sister. I'm pretty sure she's his heir. Or would they just send me back to the camps?

What you said, about telling the Headmistress that Master's threatening her property--near as I can tell, even though she's in charge of me now, that's not true. Wouldn't do any good to say anything to her, I guess, would it? Even if she's got custody of me now, it doesn't change my legal status any under the law. He's right, I am his property.

[alt_gredforge]

Professor, you're nobody's property. And if we ever find that piece of parchment, we'll use it to light some fireworks. That's all it's good for.

[alt_terry]

That made me laugh right out loud! Surprised the Headmistress, she asked me what I was laughing at. I had to tell her that one of the portraits made a face at me.

[alt_sally_anne]

You know that Carrow has a parchment that says you're his property, and the Headmistress knows that I'm sure. But I guess she doesn't much care since she took you away from him right?

And if I weren't talking to you here I wouldn't know. I'd just know the Headmistress took you so I'd figure that meant you were hers now. So if I heard Carrow threatening her property I could tell her and that should be a good thing.

But I don't have to, I mean you know what will keep you safe better than I do.

[alt_sally_anne]

It should be a good thing that I told her, I mean, not that Carrow was threatening you.

I don't squeal on other students, I mean I suppose I would if I really HAD to for some reason but I try not to. But Carrow isn't a student.

[alt_terry]

Let me think about a little bit, all right? I mean, if anyone should tell her, it probably should be me. That'd be--that'd be acting like a real person, you see. Not like mudblood property. And I need to learn how to do that. Being with Master so many years, I guess I have all sorts of habits to un-learn. It's stuff I had to learn, in order to survive. But I don't want to be like that anymore.

But I just have to work up my nerve a bit first.

[alt_terry]

But I want to say thanks. That means a lot, for you to offer.