Harry would have let me come if I'd explained but I didn't want to explain and anyway I had no reason to be there and I didn't trust myself to be seen by whomever might have come by.
I know what you mean about wanting to fight. I guess I'm doing something important by helping Harry learn about things, and get ready for what's facing him, but it can feel really indirect, sometimes, like it's not going to do any immediate good. That's why I'm happy Sirius and Mr Snape really liked the coins so much, if they can reuse the idea, because it's like I've actually contributed something.
As far as telling the others...I do think they had a right to know, and not just Ron. Neville and Evie are so glad to know for sure that their parents are doing something like that (and no, before you say anything, I didn't tell them but they know enough that they figured it out on their own and I didn't tell them otherwise), and I think it's about time that we all started talking together. Because it's ridiculous that we have to keep all these secrets--not the really important ones, like Moddey (and you'll notice that I did change things to obscure all that), but the facts of what they're doing. Honestly, Terry, the sorts of secrets we already share on the lock, those are just as dangerous as knowing that the Order is saving muggleborns--maybe even more, because none of the ISS know how we've been saving them or where they're going. If someone gives them Veritaserum, then we're all dead anyways. I'd rather be able to talk about it with them. Besides, they're all going to ask to join, anyway, like you and Fred and George and Lee. So I'm not going to tell the Order that I did it, but I'm not sorry that I did, either.
Professor McGonagall is sick. Mr Snape's been trying to help her, but.... Well, you know that she has to pretend to be a Death Eater too and it kills her, mostly, and she's scared all the time that someone will suspect her or try to Legilimise her or something. So yes, she drinks. And she's been getting worse, I think. (I'm sorry if that upsets you. I don't know what to do about it, I think everyone in the Order sees it but no one can make her stop if she doesn't want to stop. But I think Mr Snape and Madam Pomfrey have a plan, maybe, at least to try.)
That's another reason I told, although I can't say that I was thinking about it at the time, but it's true: Mr Weasley was one of the Order's leaders, and Professor McGonagall's supposed to be the other. And with Mr Weasley gone, if she falls apart--well, we need all the help we can get, I suppose, is what I'm saying.
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I know what you mean about wanting to fight. I guess I'm doing something important by helping Harry learn about things, and get ready for what's facing him, but it can feel really indirect, sometimes, like it's not going to do any immediate good. That's why I'm happy Sirius and Mr Snape really liked the coins so much, if they can reuse the idea, because it's like I've actually contributed something.
As far as telling the others...I do think they had a right to know, and not just Ron. Neville and Evie are so glad to know for sure that their parents are doing something like that (and no, before you say anything, I didn't tell them but they know enough that they figured it out on their own and I didn't tell them otherwise), and I think it's about time that we all started talking together. Because it's ridiculous that we have to keep all these secrets--not the really important ones, like Moddey (and you'll notice that I did change things to obscure all that), but the facts of what they're doing. Honestly, Terry, the sorts of secrets we already share on the lock, those are just as dangerous as knowing that the Order is saving muggleborns--maybe even more, because none of the ISS know how we've been saving them or where they're going. If someone gives them Veritaserum, then we're all dead anyways. I'd rather be able to talk about it with them. Besides, they're all going to ask to join, anyway, like you and Fred and George and Lee. So I'm not going to tell the Order that I did it, but I'm not sorry that I did, either.
Professor McGonagall is sick. Mr Snape's been trying to help her, but.... Well, you know that she has to pretend to be a Death Eater too and it kills her, mostly, and she's scared all the time that someone will suspect her or try to Legilimise her or something. So yes, she drinks. And she's been getting worse, I think. (I'm sorry if that upsets you. I don't know what to do about it, I think everyone in the Order sees it but no one can make her stop if she doesn't want to stop. But I think Mr Snape and Madam Pomfrey have a plan, maybe, at least to try.)
That's another reason I told, although I can't say that I was thinking about it at the time, but it's true: Mr Weasley was one of the Order's leaders, and Professor McGonagall's supposed to be the other. And with Mr Weasley gone, if she falls apart--well, we need all the help we can get, I suppose, is what I'm saying.